This is the first chapter

#1 - I Write From Hell

Friday, February 24, 2017

#76 - What Good?


There were warm hands on either side of his head as he dozed in the water.  Before he opened his eyes he could hear Kinourae say “What good does your suffering do?  How does it atone for anything?”

His eyes opened slowly and he looked up into Limyé’s face.  “You might think about that while I get you out of there and dry,” he said.

Ahrimaz blinked and he said “What?  I didn’t hear you.”

“I asked you how does your suffering, your agony, atone for any of the evil you have done,” Limyé said, and urged Ahrimaz out of the elephant’s pool.  “Especially in this world where you have done no evil?”

“But…”

“You feel bad and feel that it is just that you feel so wretched.”  Limyé wrapped him in a blanket towel and walked him toward the door to the House of the Hand.  “Let me put you to bed.  Not in the cell any longer.”  Heylia slid ahead and Yustiç neighed from her stall, more disgusted that she couldn't come along.

“But…”

“You said that already.  There is a bedroom that was once yours… ah, his… as a boy, tidied up.  No more cells.  There are a number of people writing to the House protesting your treatment.”

“But…”

“Brace yourself across the breezeway,” Limyé said briskly.  “The temperature dropped again last night and there’s a crust on all that snow.  The Ambassadors have said they wish another day of privacy before they greet us all.”

“Didara wants to get her tusks shined and polished up,” Ahrimaz said.  “And Jagunjagun will want to outline his scars with paint.”  The wind droned through the pillars but Limyé rushed him across so only his hair had time to freeze and tap against the blanket only once before falling limp in the warmth of the House.  “Limyé, it’s not right I shouldn’t be…”

“…so comfortable?”  The healer tipped his head to one side as he fended off the two dogs who were Ahrimaz’s constant shadows now.  “I repeat.  What does your suffering pay for?”

Ahrimaz let himself be led up the stairs and down a hallway lined with honeywood paneling and bright green tile on the floor.  To a door he almost knew.  Children’s rooms.  He started to shake, then took a deep breath.  “My room.  In infinite worlds… very similar… My room.”

“Yes.  So let us set you up in bed and let you sleep more.  You had very little sleep on the road, Teel and Pel tell me and the Captain corroborated them with her report.  You needn’t worry.  There is nothing you need do for the next few days.  No Ambassadors to save.  You can train all day tomorrow if you like, Rutaçyen says.  She has a whole new wave of classes just beginning and says ‘we need more alternative world warriors to be a draw to the war school!’

“But…”

“Lie down, Ahrimaz.”

“But…”

“Just sleep.  And think on what I asked you.”

“What good does my suffering do?”

Limyé pushed him over with one finger in the centre of his chest.  “Sleep.”

“But…”

He was asleep even as his head hit the feather pillow, felt the feather quilt pulled up to his chin, still trying to argue. “But…”

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