#28 - Pray

Ahrimaz found himself once more on the stack of mats, wrapped in towels and all but immobilized between Yolend and Pelahir.  Sure came scrambling over and onto the mat thudding her blockhead into his middle with a grunt.  He grunted as well and then subsided and let her be.  Stupid dog.

“Why are you doing this?” he said, finally.  “Why are you treating me like him?”

He could feel Yolend shake her head.  “We aren’t.  You’re getting away with horrible behavior that we wouldn’t tolerate in our Ahrimaz.”

“What?”  He was confused.  “But…”

“We’d have hauled him out to the valley and ducked him under the Veil for behaving like you.”

“I… see.”

“But because I’m insane you let me scream and injure myself.” Ahrimaz just closed his eyes, let the three of them hold him.  “I’ve never let myself be held down like this.”  He was too tired to fight them, too sore, his lungs hurt.  He could do nothing but lie and accept comfort.

“Basically, yes.”

“That’s crazy.”

“No,” Pel’s voice rumbled in his ear.  “It’s like training.  Tire them out until they can’t get it wrong.”

“I… see, I think.” Ahrimaz could feel the fear biting at him because of their closeness, but it was small and distant and far away.  The sensation of being held close in their arms when they weren’t going to hurt him was foremost.  And the sensation of kissing Yolend lingered on his lips.

He had managed to climax and still felt sore from it, even though the damned dog wouldn’t bite him.  That would have made things so much easier. 

“We’re thinking that we need to unhook your pleasure from pain.”

“Is that even possible?”  Ahrimaz clenched his eyes shut.  “It took him long enough to train it into me.  I might never be able to…”

Sure raised her big head and wagged her tail, thumping against his leg.  “Hello,” Limyé said.  “Do you mind telling me what happened?”

“These two came down and nearly interrupted me while whacking off; then wouldn’t quit touching me.  So I chased them out here and we did some sparring.”

“That’s basically it, in a quail’s eggshell,” Yolend said.  “Though with his spin on it.”

“Negative, of course.”

Ahrimaz sighed, gritted his teeth.  “Would you two please let me up?”

“Certainly –“ “—of course,” They said and even helped him sit up on the mats, pushing the dog off to one side and somehow still managing to keep hold of him.

“How are you bearing all this touching, then?” Limyé looked interested rather than prurient.

“I’m too tired to fight them.”  Ahrimaz found that his arms and legs were trembling with fatigue and drew a deep breath to try and seize control of himself.  “They were just telling me they thought I could have my sex drive uncoupled from pain.”

“They’re right.”  Limyé nodded.  “There is a protocol that often works.”

“Don’t tell me,” Ahrimaz could feel his lips trying to curl.  “Imaryan.”

“Naturally.  One reason I think you were driven to kill us all in your Empire.  It was too dangerous to have anyone around who might actually be able to heal you.”

“How can you just talk about it like that?”  Ahrimaz hitched himself up and away from Pel and Yolend.  “It’s the most brutal of genocides and it was proof of my evil.  Just as my beating my Shashi into imbecility.”

“And your Yolend into docility.” This Yolend said, quietly.  She was cross-legged now, the cottons dry enough that they mercifully fell away from her body.  Even though Ahrimaz had taken the worst of his lust away, he wasn’t dead.

“None of which are forgiveable.  Torture, murder.  Just because I was Emperor and could do all of it with impunity, didn’t get me off the butcher’s hook!”

“Your father put you there,” Limyé said.  “Does that make it your fault?”

“No!  Just my responsibility!”

“Heya, Shit-head.”  Ahrimaz’s head snapped around to stare at Pelahir as he continued.  “It seems to me that you’ve already got the conscience you’re afraid of.”

Ahrimaz stared around at them, sitting with him in the middle of the training salle, even the dog. He was constrained in towels and sheets and none of them apparently hated or feared him.  He fisted his hands over his eyes and bent forward as if someone had stabbed him in the gut.

“As a first step, Ahri,” Yolend said.  “We’ll be with you while you pray.”

“Scorch you! Char you to drowning!”

“But,” Limyé said.  “Our Ahrimaz is made quite ill by praying to Aeono and being answered.  He is naturally more able to pray to Lyrian.”

“You’ve said,” Ahrimaz gritted.  He straightened abruptly, raised his hands and began the prayer to call on God to cleanse foulness.

His hands flared into blue-white flames and he was crowned with it dancing over his head.  “…burn all that is dross, Aeono!”  The flames reflected in all their eyes and they watched, peacefully, until Yolend raised her slender fingers into the air, palm to palm.

“Father Tiger, bless me, bless all children, save us from the fires of rage that possess us and flay our souls.”  The flames jumped to her hands, wrapping around her head and shoulders like a shawl.

“No! Oh, God. Oh God!” Ahrimaz dry heaved into the bowl that Limyé had produced.  “Tiger Master!” He vomited bile and blood.

“You are burning, Ahri.  You need water.”

He shoved the bowl away, staring at the softly flickering light that crown Yolend.  Pel held out his hands, cupped like a bowl under Ahrimaz’s chin. “Will you pray with me?”

“I don’t know how to pray to the bitch.”

“Well, first you have to stop calling a divine being names, though She’s bigger than that and doesn’t much care.  She won’t answer if you do, though.”

“Liryen.” Ahrimaz husked and as he spoke, a drop of water appeared in Pel’s hands. “M…m…other…” a blue white fountain danced over Pel’s hands, overflowed over their knees.  “Sooth me?  May I pray to You?  I’ve hated you so long.  I don’t know how.  I…”

Pel tipped his hands forward and Ahrimaz put his own up automatically to catch the waterfall.  He stared down at the fountain rising out of his hands, the feelings welling up in him, tears running down his face, dripping off his chin.  “Mother, help me.” And put his hands to his lips and drank until his raging thirst and pain were gone.